After nearly a month filled with fun holiday festivities, we can’t deny the inevitable January depression mode that hits us as hard and as fast as our New Years hangovers. Since November 25th, I’ve been distracted by delicious holiday food, ugly sweater parties, a crazy work schedule, Christmas shopping, baking (Martha Stewart ain’t got nothing on my PB cups), watching Elf, dangling mistletoe from doorways at bars (KIDDING), my birthday and so on that I've lost steam.
I just turned 25 and feel as though I’m asking myself the same question I was when I graduated college: what do I want to be when I grow up? I’m a single, white, quarter century year old female with the maturity level of a 10 year old and not a god damn clue of what direction I should be moving in. As much as l’d love to be covered in glitter and to be able to wear a giant bear backpack on a daily basis (hey Ke$ha and Miley), I know that’s not going to help my career...unless I want to work the corner. Where the hell is my genie in a bottle, my fairy godmother, or even my magic eight ball?!
Before I slip further into my January “I’ve got nothing to look forward to, it’s cold, I want to move to a tropical island, the sky is falling, I’m already on my 4th box of cookies, Pitbull why aren’t we dating, I need a puppy to cuddle” depression mode, I’ve decided to make some positive (debatable) new years goals. AND GUESS WHAT WORLD, IT’S UP TO YOU TO HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE:
-Become a certified spin instructor- I will no longer wear pencil skirts, just multicolored spandex, neon sneakers and I will spend most of my days creating playlists. Soul Cycle, I’m coming for you.
-Plan a trip to Vegas. Done and done. Come June 27th, my goal will be to make it back to Boston a millionaire and not be married to an Elvis impersonator. I PUT A DOLLAR IN AND GOT A CAR.
-Make a North End food challenge and eat at as many restaurants as I can with some sort of rating system that has yet to be determined. It's cold so that means I'm allowed to eat as many carbs as possible right?
-Become more creative in my snap chat art. Everyone could benefit from this.
-Become a proud parent of some sort of adorable creature.
-Figure out a way to appear on a tv show, ideally Ellen D or a modern day Punk'd. I think I’m past my prime for Girls Gone Wild.
-Learn another language, specifically Spanish taught by Cats. Don’t laugh, this actually exists:
-Buy an apartment...This rests on me either winning big in Vegas or finding a job that pays me top dollhairs...orrrrrr an older gentleman. Let's hope I win big.
-Figure out how many fireball shots are too many fireball shots...is there such a thing?
-Run a 20 mile race. Why cuz? I’m actually not sure since I don’t even like running that much. I’ll make sure to post some sort of social media photo to prove I crawled over the finish line.
-Cook a new recipe every week. I hear guys dig chicks who can make delicious noms so I should definitely start practicing.
There you have it folks. I’m dedicating my 25th year on this planet to accomplishing these lofty goals.
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