Monday, April 29, 2013

Blah Blah Hipsters Blah



I initially thought that just by writing 'feelings' on a coffee cup it would accurately portray a hipster. Then I realized there were too many inconsistencies:

-In real life, they’d never be drinking a coffee from Dunkin or Starbucks. It would be from some obscure coffee shop that no one’s ever heard of.
-They’d also never be wearing those stunna shades (but I do look good). Should have borrowed someone’s ray bands.
-They would have used a filter to make it look more ‘old tyme’. Maybe Sepia or something.
-I'm missing an overly aggressive graphic tshirt. 
-A slight buzz cut is needed. 

Brighton/Allston is currently the central breeding ground for hipsters riding around on two-speeders and I’m smack dab in the middle of it. I have some issues that I need clarified and I’m not above stalking a hipster or two for an explanation.

Guys, I’m sorry, but skinny jeans are NEVER a good look (unless you’re Adam Levine and you’re singing directly to me). It also leaves little for the imagination, if ya catch my drift. Wearing your girlfriends zip-up? Even worse! I don’t care how cold you are, leave that shit at home. I get that you want to look super sensitive while at the same time making a statement but I’m confused as to how two sizes too small clothing achieves that for you.

Vegetarians don't eat meat because they don't believe it's ethical. Hipsters do the opposite of everyone around them because... Bueller? Bueller?

I can't even keep going.
I'm getting too worked up.
This is what hipsters do to me.
My emotions are all over the place.

I'll leave you with this: I’m onto all of you and your anti-mainstream ways. If knocking some sense into you requires me forcing you to listen some Selena Gomez or another pop star, I’ll do it.  


LISTEN TO DIS:

Robin Thicke just screams sex, all day every day:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyDUC1LUXSU

(Now go watch the unrated version)

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