People Watching vs. Running

While speed walking on an incline or flailing my arms on the elliptical, I am always on the lookout for interesting gym goers:

The guy who’s wearing shorter shorts than me…and most of the females there

The guy who makes it known his high kicks are ten times better than yours during ‘cardio blast’

The girl who takes up half the mat just to show you how flexible she is

The girl who is on the treadmill when I get there and still on it when I leave… “I’m barely sweating”

The girl wearing full make up, a sports bra and chewing gum. “What? Like this is hard?”

The guy who only works out his back and arms so he can’t actually touch his hands together

The guy who wears a cutoff and just struts around looking at himself in mirrors. “One thousand and one. One thousand and two.”

Couples who work out together (3 types):

                -The girlfriend who just giggles at every exercise thinking how cute they look together. The guy starts regretting his decision to suggest this bonding activity

                -The girlfriend looks miserable and will probably break up with the guy after 3 more of these sessions. “Go home and step on the scale, write down how much you weigh, and subtract it by like, 20”

                -The most in fit/good looking couple you’ll ever see and you wonder how they met and how you can steal that babe of a boyfriend. “LOOK AT ME. I CAN DO SQUATS TOO”.

Or instead of going to the gym, I sometimes decide to run. How i get motivated:

1. Think about running
2. Think about running for about ten more minutes 
3. Decide I don’t want to run anymore
4. Then decide I should run because I’m dressed and I ate a box of girl scout cookies earlier
5. Cue my new ‘Runninggggggg’ playlist that I just wasted another 30 minutes creating on spotify
6. Start jogging
7. Wow, I’m feeling pretty great
8. I wonder how fast I’m going
9. I’m probably the fasted kid alive 
10. Run past another runner just to show them how in shape I think I am
11. Convinced I’ve run about 3 miles at this point
12. “You have hit 1 mile. Pace 8:55” says the British woman courtesy of my Nike running app
13. SAY WHAT
14. Start to get tired
15. Make a decision right then and there that I’m never running again after this 
16. Start to disregard all traffic signals fearing if I stop, I'll never get going again. IM RUNNING HERE 
17. Begin blaming everyone and anyone around me for making me do this
18. Black out
19. Appear at my apartment
20. Feel slightly accomplished
21. *Forget how much I hated physical activity ten minutes before* 
22. Huh, now that I can breathe again I feel pretty good
23. Maybe runnings not that bad.
24. I should do this more often.
25. Eat more girl scout cookies.

First 45 seconds of this seem about right.