I literally can’t help myself when it comes to trying out
or investigating weird things/trends. Growing up, if someone told me not to
touch wet paint, I'd automatically have an inexplicable urge to reach out and
touch it. Next thing you know, I’d leave a trail of fingerprints and I'd be
caught 'red handed'. This is how I feel about online dating. I don't
necessarily believe in it, but curiosity got the best of me. Instead of the
usual conventional methods, I've listed a few others that I've dabbled in:
Tinder:
It’s all fun and games until you come across multiple
people you went to high school with and a cab driver tells you you’re being
immature for using it. Before going out one Saturday, I downloaded the app and
was immediately hooked for the next 48 hours. It definitely seemed okay after a
drink or 10 to message random guys my where abouts and hope they might meander
my way. Come Monday morning, I was all tindered out.
OkCupid:
It’s essentially the MySpace for online dating. Once
‘FreckleFinder’ emailed me, I called it quits.
Match.com/Eharmony (not sure which one it was):
Why do they ask me so many questions? I just want to look
at the pictures. Why would I want to get to know the guy first before seeing
his photo?! I tried justifying that I would only need a handful of guys to take
me out to make up for the 3 month trial fee but again, after answering one too
many “On a typical Friday night, what would you prefer to be doing: A. Bowling
B. Out dancing with friends C. Sitting on the couch watching movies D. Cleaning” I lost
interest.
Grouper:
Seemed like a good idea at the time but after going on two
of them, I decided I’d rather just go to a bar, climb on a stool, scan the room
for a group of normal looking guys, take a shot and saunter in their direction…Or
in reality try to make eye contact and send a message via telepathy like WALK
THIS WAY.
Craigslist:
Yea, yea, yea this was by far the creepiest one I tried
(Sorry, Mom). I was casually searching apartments when I clicked on the
personals. Next thing I know, I’m reading (and by reading, scanning for
keywords) a post that essentially went like this: blah blah looking for a sugar
daddy? blah blah like shopping? blah blah blah no commitment? blah blah want
money? Blah blah. Out of all things, my first thought was 'What if I become
famous and someone digs this up? How do I do this without leaving a paper
trail?" Normal. Next thing I know, I've drafted an email and am one step
closer to finding a sugar daddy...Until he responded, saying he was 29, worked
for the mbta and was just lonely. Game over.
After writing this, I've realized I probably shouldn't
have access to the internet; I'm not sure how I've managed to come this far
without having a stalker who knows where I live and that since I'd prefer not to become
the next Craigslist killer victim, I should probably just go ahead and delete
the fake gmail account I may...or may not have.
Cheers!
If you've listened to Evolution 101.7 for 5 minutes, you've definitely heard this:
Cazzette - Beam Me Up
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUKkq2LXiUU
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